Forgiveness.

Guilt. The great paralyzer, equalizer, crippler of faith, love, peace, and self-confidence.

Guilt over falling down the stairs in public.
Guilt over hurting people close to you, making them cry.
Guilt over never ever being good enough - for yourself.
Guilt over love felt too much, love felt not enough, over love in general and in particular.

Paralyzed, cannot breathe, this snake of guilt coiled around me, within me, hurting me, breaking me. Bone by bone. From inside and out.

Freedom.
How to be free, how to walk away, how to feel the quiet/content/warm/happy buzz?
How to be like "everyone else" and live for the moment, rather than in the past?
Tell me, talk to me, console me, forgive me.

And then I might walk away. Forgiven, at peace. But still alone.

Flight.

Cramped. Aching. Bored.
Limping limbs, limping brain. Facebook/whatsapp who's online what's a good game to while the time away?
Days spent waiting, 9-6. Marking time, wasting life.

Maybe the sun shines outside. Maybe rain pours down. Birds cry/vehicles screech/the road rumbles.
Trapped.

Emails, skype, Boredboredbored. Terminal velocity of zero.
Nothing seems to change, nothing happens, nothing challenges, nothing motivates.
Nothing, nothing, nothing.

No hope, no reprieve, no surrender allowed.